you became antisocial, loljk
you became antisocial, loljk
So I don’t really understand Tumblr, but it seems to be the newest craze and I have a lot of thoughts to pour out at the moment. I don’t want you to judge me because of this site and if you don’t like what I have to say then you can just click out, please don’t say anything negative to me in person, again if you feel some sort of negative towards this, just don’t say a word, I have no room in my life for any negativity. Some of these posts may seem negative and some may seem like a pity party, it is my place to vent, I am typically a positive person…
First off, it is almost 4 AM and I don’t understand why I’m still up, my plans for the day are to wake up at 9/10, have some breakfast, shlep over to UNLV and get my rebelcard and if I have enough energy which I hope I do, is to do a nice workout at their gym. I gained a ton of weight over the year and I really need to lose some of it/look a little more appealing lol…Then I’m going to come home and Jaeger is coming over and we’re gonna get a burger special at La Bonita Supermarket, I might take him on a tour of the East Side and then we may play Wii or take my dogs to the dog park, he seems to be pretty fond of my dogs…
I’d like to say that I really value my friendship with Jaeger. It is sort of an unexpected one just because I feel like we barely hung out in high school, but I think we just really understand each other and thats what makes us good friends. Plus we have a ton of inside jokes and he’s usually always there when I need to talk to someone and he has epic pool parties, even though there’s been 2 lol. Ok enough of the gay talk lol, but he should know he’s a good friend! Don’t worry, I’ll talk about my other friends later on!
Throughout the last year, my life has changed upside down…I’d say it all started with me getting accepted to Temple. I don’t regret it, its just that all these events happened after I got accepted. I quit my job as assistant manager at Popeyes because it got too stressful and I needed some relaxation time and time for high school and CSN. My life really went upside down starting with Senior Awards Night. Senior Awards Night was an awesome night. It was great receiving recognition and learning about where everyone got accepted to college and what kind of scholarships we got. My parents took me out to a nice dinner at Jerry’s Nugget, which I will never forget. It may be in a pretty shitty part of town, but the food is amazing. I remember that dinner like yesterday, I got the Carne Asada or the Camarones Al Mojo de Ajo, maybe I don’t remember it like yesterday, but I remember how proud my parents were of me, everything felt like it was perfect and there hasn’t been many perfect times in the last few years with my family.
The next day, I left for my flight to England. Who would’ve known that the night before was the last night I would’ve seen my dad the best he had been before he died. I spent a week in England with my aunt and uncle who were about to end a year-long work contract. I hadn’t ever really spent much time with them before as they live in DC, but I’m glad I got the opportunity to go. To be honest, I wasn’t all that excited just because I didn’t really know them that well and I didn’t really know much about England. I was thinking of mainly stuffy old rich people. This trip completely changed my mind about it. Being the first time for me out of the country, I was excited at the least just to be going to Europe. I went to Marlow, Windsor, Oxford, and London. I would love to go back and possibly even live in London. That city was so amazing. Anyways, the thing that hurts me the most about the trip is that a) my dad got sick while I was away and b) i spent a whole afternoon with my aunt and uncle looking for a tobacco pouch for my father and we finally got it and it hurts that I got him something that he so badly wanted and he died 3 days later after I returned. When I returned to Las Vegas, I knew something was wrong when he couldn’t even finish his In-N-Out Burger and two days later he only wanted a baked potato for dinner. My dad had a big appetite and in the past few years I had never seen him eat something as small as just a baked potato he barely even touched for dinner. Anyways, after I returned, I told my dad all about the trip and shared pictures with him. He had been to England many years before with his first wife and didn’t really enjoy it, but I just think it was a bad trip for them to begin with because they were very ill when they arrived. The next day or 2 days later, I went to Jaeger’s house because he had a pool party. I spent 10 hours there. All I can remember is that I had an amazing time at his house and with all the ppl that went!
Two days later is a day that I will never forget. My father died on June 2nd. Like I said, the nite before, all he had was half of a baked potato. That morning when I woke up, I knew there was something strange. My mom told me not to be loud before she left for a meeting because for the first time in weeks, my dad was sound asleep in bed. Normally he would sleep on the dining room chair hunched over, which is another story. I was in my room watching Meet the Spartans and the whole time I was watching, I knew something had to be wrong in the other room, it was already 11 AM and my dad wasn’t even watching TV or eating. He would normally be up really early and eating half the kitchen already lol or I would hear him snacking at the dining room table while watching TV. I guess the whole time I was in my room watching my movie, I was just in denial, I had this intuitive feeling that something was wrong in the other room and I just didn’t want to encounter it. My dog came in which I knew was strange because he always slept with my father while he was in bed. I knew something was wrong and I was just too afraid to encounter it. Plus I couldn’t hear my father’s snoring and that was something you could normally hear a mile away. Finally at around noon, I told myself I had to go in there and just make sure he was OK or just to check if he wanted food or something. I got in there quietly and yelled at him because I knew he wasn’t alive and I was stupidly thinking that would wake him up. I could tell already that him not snoring meant he was dead. I kept yelling “Dad” to try and wake him up and eventually I just figured I’d call 911. I don’t know what told me to call 911 at first. I thought it was awkward to call and just tell them, “I think my dad is dead.” I didn’t call any family members first but I figured maybe 911 can bring him back, maybe he’s just unconscious, I don’t know. I called 911, the operator was rude, using guilt at me. Told me to give my dad CPR and told me that if i stopped I wouldn’t be able to save him. I knew that they were just telling me this stuff and making me do CPR to get my mind off the situation, but seriously I could tell that he was long gone and at this point nothing could save him. As soon as I heard the sirens coming down Las Vegas Blvd toward my house, I knew that was for me and I told 911 that they were there and got off the phone with them. I called my mom but she wasn’t picking up because she was in county chambers with no service. I then called my sister, who I’m extremely close with and only lived right down the street. I didn’t know what to tell her but she knew something was going on because we normally texted and didn’t just emergency call each other. I just told her, I think Dad is dead, just come right down, but be careful on your way. I felt like it was the longest that she took but it prob wasn’t really all that long. Even though it was after the paramedics came.
This is just too much and I guess Part 2 will come tomorrow. I just got extremely emotional. I will prob be a zombie tmrw but whatever. I can’t believe I finally put these thought into writing, but I guess it was about time I did it. Thanks to all who has read it!